JuiceFeast Day 1. I’ve been guzzling MSM like candy lately (yes, straight off the spoon) & I’m fully stocked with fresh Bee Pollen & E3 Live. The Zapper is back & kicking up some chaos for those pesky parasites – woah, I’d forgotten how intense it got. Ready to take it all a little deeper. I’ve never been fat exactly – more lumpy-plumpy-chunky. So I’m looking forward to the next stage in body re-shaping & the decrease of wrinkles, please.
I have had the oddest last few days. Kinda like a bad acid trip come back for a 2nd round (like Momento/Groundhog Day/Butterfly Effect all in one) – I’m not only remembering things which happened a while back, but re-living them – I’m being sucked down a time tunnel where I can smell & feel everything clearly. Like the pain wasn’t bad enough 1st time around – thinking you survived does not mean you integrated/processed. BUT, because I’m more aware, in-tune & open now than before, it hurts more than it did back then.. Damn. So I’ve sat still & breathed, read some, sat some more – asking: WHY? Do I need to understand this? Does it make any sense? Or is it just about sitting still? Can I just out of my head & stop needing to know everything? I keep thinking my dark night of the soul is nearly done, when something will slap me full in the face & I’m re-living again.
The funny thing about pain, is that even if someone else is causal/involved, it’s only yours & Jimmy can’t fix it. Was is easier when I used to blame everyone else? (*Turns out I may be caught in a ‘karmic knot’, which would explain why it feels so vast & inexplicable. Why it’s not about me & 1 other – but our other lives – so right now there are up to 8 of us in this scene). Why do we do so much to avoid Melon Cauli. Like today was a failure because it wasn’t the best day ever & I didn’t laugh enough. Sitting is good. As for my dreams, Freaky..
Before even finishing writing this blog, I’ve received Gorgeous supportive emails – thank you! Even Cosmic Love Bunnies have glum-times too. I am overwhelmed with Gratitude daily that I have the space & privacy to be me. That I can shut the door & be alone. Juice feasting will enable letting go Lots!! x
January 23, 2008 at 1:02 am
I hope you wake up into the Best Day Ever tomorrow, and let this slip serve you as contrast material, balance and contemplation. Sometimes we just can´t help going there, but it helps us reinforce the intuition factor!
Love and kisses to you, I wish lotsa magic coming your way!
Linda
January 23, 2008 at 7:46 am
I am in love with the way you write! MSM off the spoon… only you Suki. : )
x
January 23, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Went to c Casanova lead by H.L…, unforgettable… such a sad loss, this finely tuned artist is taken away.. .An unspoilt, concious, energetic spirit, bless his memory. Stayin off them pills seems hard for millions of people. Thanks Suki, stay tuned!
January 23, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Thanks guys – lovin you so much!
Does no one else eat MSM off the spoon?
I think if I consider myself to be unconditionally irrevocably miserable, I’ll be pleasantly surprised when I eventually wake up Happy
Resisting it don’t help – seeing it as a the best bed ever to sink into suits my hibernation season… xx
January 24, 2008 at 1:37 am
glad you bring this…
Hibernation can be a considerably healthy activity, to sink into delta sleep….dreaming..whereas in post modern deconstructed society among homo conventionalis it’s concidered deadly sin. xx
January 27, 2008 at 2:28 am
Your book situation sounds very familiar… I have about 8 stacked near my bed and another 234242 on my shelf that I am in the middle of.